a baby

baby robles arrived to this world april 22, 2012 at 1:49 pm.  he weighed in at 8 lbs 9 oz and a full head of hair!

to say he's adorable is an understatement.  he has beautiful big brown eyes just like his siblings and the most adorable face!  he's a baby of many facial expressions, very alert, but very quiet.  it's sad to say, but sometimes you forget he is even there, because he is sleeping all of the time! except you know when it's actually time for everyone else to sleep. i literally can't stop taking pictures of him when i see him.  caleb has won all of our hearts, just like any baby does, and i can't wait to see him grow up just like his siblings have. 

having him around is really exciting.  i normally don't hold babies because i'm afraid of how fragile they are, and i get really nervous.  i'm sure that the more time i spend with caleb will put me at ease, but it will definitely take some getting used to. 

seeing baby caleb and taking care of him makes me wonder how i'll be as mom.  naturally it is the next step in andrew and my relationship, but it scares me a little bit, actually a lot.  i want kids and i think that i'll make a good mom, just not now.  even though seeing about a million people i know around me having babies makes me want one now, i know in my heart, at this point, andrew and i aren't ready.  taking the leap into parenthood is something that can wait for now.  i want to travel, go to grad school, move away from colorado for a bit and grow my relationship with andrew so that when we do bring a child into our home and lives it will be stronger than ever. 

i know when i got married people would most often ask when we would have kids, and i told them about 2 years.  well people we've reached that two year promise, and it doesn't look like it's happening anytime soon.  i know in my heart that i can't do this now, if i had to i would, but i don't want to have to be a mom, i want it to be right.  i want andrew and i to be more comfortable financially, mentally, spiritually, and physically.  i can't give anyone a date, or a year as to when this will happen, but for now i can enjoy caleb, yehoshua, and aaliyah, and my pinterest baby board!

pics to come!